


What's The Big Deal About Boys Anyway? Girls Are Way Better!

by 3L1J4H_D3NN0



Category: Gintama
Genre: #Doesn'tScrewWithMyCanon, Gen, KaguSoyo If You Squint, Lesbian Kagura, Sakata Gintoki is a Good Friend, Shimura Shinpachi is a Good Friend, This Is Probably Canon Divergence Cause I've Only Watched 40-Something Episodes, because I said so, oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-19 23:34:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19982386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3L1J4H_D3NN0/pseuds/3L1J4H_D3NN0
Summary: Shinpachi and Gintoki find out Kagura likes girls. Kagura thinks it's the most obvious thing in the world.





	What's The Big Deal About Boys Anyway? Girls Are Way Better!

"Hmmm..."

Shinpachi sat in the lounge, stuck in his thoughts. Gintoki and Kagura were also lying around the room, one reading _JUMP_ and the other one eating something. Shinpachi was too caught up in his own head to think about what it was she was eating, though.

He definitely hadn't been seeing things. Those things were definitely in Kagura's room. He was sure it was real, since he went to check again after the first time.

_It's not that there's anything bad about it. Definitely not. Hopefully not. It's just... surprising? To see how many magazines Kagura-chan owns with skimpily-clad idol girls plastered all over the covers..._

_Actually, it shouldn't be that surprising. I can recall a number of times she's been distracted in the presence of attractive women... I'd just always assumed there was something else that had caught her eye. That or I was distracted as well._

_But it's okay. Definitely. If Sis liked girls, it would still be the same between us, wouldn't it? Yosh! Of course it would! Which means if Kagura-chan likes girls, that's also okay._

Shinpachi chuckled to himself smugly, as if he'd just solved all the world's problems.

Still, he had to be sure...

"Oi, Kagura-chan," Shinpachi spoke up.

"Eh?" Kagura looked up from the takoyaki she was stuffing her face with. Shinpachi sweatdropped. He'd been saving that...

He shook his head decisively. "What do you... think about girls?"

Kagura stared at him, before swallowing her mouthful. "What?"

Shinpachi sighed. _Wrong question. Kagura-chan doesn't think at all._

"Well... do you ever... have feelings for boys or girls?"

"I feel nothing for boys," Kagura replied, deadpan. "If every boy in the world died just now, I would shed only one tear."

"Th-that was cold!" Shinpachi stammered.

"The one tear would be for Sadaharu, because he makes me happy."

_What about me? Or Gin-san?_ Shinpachi wondered, though he didn't dare ask.

"Girls are nice, though," Kagura paused to stare into space for a few seconds, before her eyes found the takoyaki again.

"So... you like girls?" Shinpachi asked.

"Like them?"

"Like, _like_ like them."

"Of course! Have you never seen a girl? Why wouldn't I?"

Gin decided to insert himself into the conversation after scratching his head thoughtfully. "Don't girls... like boys?"

Kagura snorted. "Why? What's so good about boys? They stink and whine all the time!"

"Ah, you make a good point. Better to go for a sweet-smelling girl than a stinky boy..." Gintoki agreed, rubbing his chin.

Kagura nodded matter-of-factly. "Just what I was thinking."

"Eh? I guess stuff does happen in that head of yours, huh?" Gin teased, poking Kagura's forehead.

"Of course stuff goes on in my head! That's where my food goes when there's no more room in my belly."

"So, what about Okita?" Shinpachi asked, firmly ignoring that subject.

Kagura cocked her head, confused. "What about Okita?"

"Aren't you... a thing?"

"A Thing?"

"Like... a couple?"

Kagura was quiet for a moment, then answered, "Who's Okita?"

Shinpachi groaned and threw his hands in the air. _Why is it so hard to ask Kagura-chan questions?_

"He's the cannon twerp," Gintoki supplied helpfully. Kagura's mouth formed an O shape as she remembered the man they meant.

"Him? He's an asshole! He's like... worse than the worst boy! Definitely, we are definitely NOT a Thing!"

"Really?" Shinpachi asked, surprised. "You always end up really close together, somehow..."

"That's just so I can hit him easier!" Kagura shouted, not sure how anyone could see that differently.

"Okay, okay," Shinpachi held his hands up in defeat.

"Oi, Kagura," Gintoki called from where he was lying on the couch, _JUMP_ manga resting on his stomach.

"Mmm?" Kagura turned to him again.

"Got your eye on a girl instead?"

Kagura nodded, unable to speak due to the takoyaki currently bulging her cheeks out.

"Who?" Gin asked. Again, Kagura couldn't answer, so instead he tried guessing. "Is it... Otae-san?"

Shinpachi choked. Kagura shook her head.

"Sachan?" Another shake.

"Old lady Otose?" Kagura spat out her food in horror.

"Ehhhh? Gin-chan, how could I like that old hag? What's wrong with you?"

"Hmm..." Gintoki seemed unfazed by her outburst. "Tell us who it is then."

"You don't know her."

"Huh? I know everyone."

"Not her." Kagura folded her arms and turned her head away from them both. "She's a beautiful princess I met in the playground."

Gin and Shinpachi shared a look.

"That sounds made up," Shinpachi informed her.


End file.
